Floating like a Kite

I was thinking earlier what it is I might like about a specific area of interest. And in this process I extended that desire further to see what it would feel like. As I did this, I realized my thoughts had taken me to a place which reflected something I didn’t want. So, while the not wanted received more than 68 seconds of my focus, I quickly snapped myself back to here and began slowly releasing the previous energy. Through this, I learned what I wanted. It was a good exercise in deciphering.

It’s interesting, because we grow up believing this twisted, false premise that in order to release something from our lives, we need to push against it. We need to talk about why we don’t want it, all the implications of how something is most undesirable, how other’s don’t want it, all the conversations that engage the not wanting. The false premise being, of course, that if we talk about something enough, we’ll have learned all there is to know about it and in the process keep ourselves away from experiencing whatever it is we don’t want. In essence we're taught to Push Against.

Releasing simply means giving our attention to something wanted. It’s like holding a balloon in the wind. To keep the balloon from flying away, we must hold onto the string tightly. However, should anything distract our attention and we loosen our grip on the string, the balloon can fly away freely.

So, too, goes the things unwanted in my life. It’s hard, sometimes, to not give the unwanted our attention. It really is very compelling and interesting, and sometimes so damn habitual – we might not know what to think if we didn’t think the unwanted. I'm finding out, lately, that if I close my eyes and see myself as a kite, floating gently and easily across the sky, going to wherever the wind has set its course, that which I am not wanting is released from my attention, making room for more pleasurable, if not blissful, experiences.

I'm discovering that it’s true what Abraham says: reach for the feeling and not the thought. Reach for the memory of a delicious feeling or emotion, or just one that feels better than the previous, the thoughts will soon form. They’ll soon come to me, because it’s law.

There really is nothing I have to do, or attempt to think. All I’ve ever had to do is what feels best, from wherever I stand. That’s it. But, it does require a conversation with oneself. It does require being so in tune with myself that I know what I'm feeling. This does require I stay awake and aware and commit myself to the idea that Nothing Is More Important Than I Feel Good; not Think Good.

Without accepting this concept, this idea, I have no gauge; I will have no compass or touchstone. Each and every circumstance, condition, or event gives me another opportunity to know who I am, to strengthen my confidence in my knowledge, and to employ my understanding for the foundation I'm creating.


I am my Touchstone ~ I am my Constant ~ I am my Creator ~ I am my Buried Treasure ~ I am my Heart's Desir

Some mornings are like that

I woke up this morning feeling like my world was upside down.

So, I decided to get away and sit by the river. Funny how things in nature can reflect what's going on within you. Like the rapids in the river, it was hard to find a thought where I didn't feel the upheaval of my emotions.

But, with a little bit of effort, I was able to gain a broader perspective and things started to look and feel different. Started to think different thoughts too.  Like, maybe things aren't so bad.  There's much in my life to appreciate.

While the circumstances and conditions haven't changed, I do believe it's going to be a Bright, Sun Shiny Day.

After all, no one ever said Living Happily Ever After wasn't going to take some focus and reaching for better feeling thoughts.

What do you love? What brings you joy?

It's that time of year, when all the creatures big and small, human, beast and plant begin to feel the awakening of Spring.  Oh, it's not here just yet, but you can smell it in the air just as easily as the first, succulent fruit of the harvest season. Even more so, you can feel it in your bones as it calls out to you, filling you with anticipation of all that's coming into being.

It's no surprise, then, when I woke early this morning and asked myself my favorite morning question: What brings me joy?, the awakening spring ritual was my answer. I tried to read my email - but it was pointless.  I tried to get excited about doing something in the house - but that was useless. Truth is, and more than anything, I wanted to be outdoors, my hands in the dirt, my mind planning and plotting out gardens for flowers and delicious vegetables; redesigning my chicken coop to become the most chic and happening brooding house on West River Road; I wanted to mark trees for removal...the wood offering to be used for the fireplace, compost, as well as spring-summer-fall bon fires. I planted rows and rows of peony this morning, as well as several small fruit orchards. The small, yet absolutely adorable summer kitchen that sits upon my farm, was completely revamped into a magnificent writing and relaxing home for dwellers and guests alike. Oh, I even replaced the roof on the main house with a gorgeous standing seam - in a charcoal color no less.

Yes indeed - my morning and afternoon was very productive, with most of it taking place in my mind's eye. I love, love, love my imagination and all the ideas and desires that are born - especially when it comes to anything related to the home / cooking / gardening / farming.

When my imagination could no longer contain the enthusiasm bubbling inside me, I did the one thing that would get my dogs more excited than me:  I showed them their leashes and into the SUV the three of us went. First, we enjoyed a mile long hike through Sidecut Park with, thankfully, most of the deer taking their late morning / early afternoon siesta. I love seeing deer on my walks, but Lucy and Cooper tell me it's their solemn mission to protect me from all beasts, including those I enjoy. Lucy + Cooper + Deer = WARNING, WARNING, HIGH ALERT!

Afterward, we took a quick drive through a local fast food joint for coffee (me) and chicken strips (the dogs!). As I sat in the parking lot, wondering what was next for our adventurous day, it's no surprise my truck intimately knows my strongest desires and took me, post haste, to my farm.

Confession --- the farm I've named, and moved into (if only in my mind), isn't really mine. At least not according to the county auditor, and the people that still hold the deed. Nevertheless, it's mine in heart, spirit and mind. If there ever was a great love affair between human and land - then that would be me and this property. It's a wonderful and lovely home and farm that's been on the market for almost 2 years, if not longer. There's been a few close calls where someone actually thought the place was theirs and attempted a purchase, but luckily and selfishly for me -- the sales fell through. Whew!

Joyfully, the dogs and I traipsed through the snow, making our rounds on the farm - noticing where wildlife had done the same thing hours earlier. Things I never noticed before popped out waiting for my camera's acknowledgment - of which I gladly obliged. When it came time for the three of us to once again climb inside the warm comfort of the truck, I said my good-byes, infused the home and property with my love and appreciation, and drove away shouting the best Arnold impersonation possible:  "I'll Be Back!"

Love has no calories

I was speaking with dear friend, Beth, the other night on Skype. The course of our conversation was central to Love and Appreciation, the building blocks of our lives. For much of the fall season, it was apparent that I had been processing and shifting some long-held beliefs that not only felt bad, but had long out lived their ability to serve me in any kind of meaningful way. The discord I was experiencing between where I was, and where I wanted to be, was showing up - quite glaringly - as a mirror from those I love the most.

As the discord grew and grew within me, I needed to step back, go within, and begin soothing myself - in whatever way I could while also leaving everyone out of my process.  This wasn't, after all, about them. It was about my perception, my expansion as a consciousness, and where I wasn't allowing myself to grow.  It's so much easier, don't you think, when you take everyone else off the hook of why you feel bad and know - without any doubt - that you have the ability and power to guide the direction of your own life?

I began journaling, again, and also engaged in processes that felt good to me. While listening to an Abraham workshop I attended in Asheville, North Carolina in November, I heard something that made not only my ears perk up, but felt to the core of my being:

"When you're true to yourself, you know your own Value."

It was then I realized, once again, I had been caring more about what other's thought of me, than how I felt about myself.  It is my sincere hope that one day, I will consistently remember there is nothing more important than I feel good. That one day I can say, with all the sincerity of my being, "I love you so much I don't care what you think."  Because, truly, that is where love begins --- with the self.

Everything we experience in our lives is a reflection, or a mirror, of a vibration or frequency within ourselves. There is no exception to that Law. And, when we can truly know that, and release all our judgments that have held us in a place of crappy thoughts and feelings, all that's left is our connection with who we really are: Source...a stirring, bubbling cauldron of Love.

There is nothing, in my opinion, more blissful than reconnecting with who I am --- who we all are.  In that space of connection, inspiration flows in so many different areas of joy, that not even wild horses can stop a person from engaging in that happiness.

In light of that, this morning I made: Love Muffins.

Bon Appetite!

P.S. Love has no calories...quoted from Sierra

Loving others

This quote just came in from one of my Abraham lists. It really says it all.

When YOU discover that you can love them regardless of what they are doing, you've got it all figured out.  When you can stand in love of those who are not loving you, you have it all figured out.

Washington, DC  10-24-09 

It's a joyful thing to look at someone, who demonstrates qualities I can either identify with, admire, and even love and stay in this easy place of appreciation.  It's those "others," who test my resolve, challenge my perspective, who do things so differently than how I would do something, or believe so differently than me, that if I give them enough of my attention, I can find myself standing in a place of judging them - making them wrong - defending and justifying myself...even if that was never my intention. 

But, what a juicy and life-giving feeling it is to be able appreciate those differences, to find the blessing in another's perspective that's very different than my own.  It's not about gaining tolerance of something I'm not wanting, but instead the process of Allowing. Allowing myself to remember Who I Am and that I always had control over the one thing I only ever had control over: Me.  In that allowing, the light of who I am shines on all those whom I interact and I cannot help but see who they really are.  Isn't that what unconditional love is, after all? Not asking others to change at all, but loving myself so much I recognize myself within them.  

Beauty

I love seeing beauty in the most simple designs. But, even in simplicity, the wisdom behind a design can be enormous in its symbology. The White Tree of Gondor --- a symbol of Kings, but even more than this it is a reminder that Well-Being always prevails.  Well-Being always flows. We are good. We are worthy. We are deserving.

A'maelamin Baramin ed’ i’Duin